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Obsessions or fetishes are normal inclinations towards one thing or the other. Here is a list of a few fetishes – while some are innocent, the other are on the wild side.
We all have things that turn us on. Don’t be afraid of them, enjoy them as they will help make yoursex life better. Check the list if any of these are yours and hey, you might even find something you didn’t know you liked.
1. Stomachs: Both men and woman like to flaunt their flat stomachs. Nothing is hotter than a woman who is fit, knows it and is oozing with confidence that says ‘I know my body is sexy’.
2. Piercings: This is something that is popular with younger people. They pierce everything than can. They don’t stop at the ears like a normal person does. They may pierce their tongue, eye brows, nipples, lips, tongue, and even their genitals! Ouch!
3. Latex, leather, rubber: A lot of men love to look at women wearing very tight material. One doesn’t have to imagine what the person looks like underneath their clothes – it’s there for anyone to see.
4. Domination: Some men and women like to be told what to do. This may also involve whips, hand cuffs, or chains. It is extremely popular for unfathomable reasons.
5. Feet: This is a popular fetish. Some men like to adorn a woman’s feet with jewellery or henna, while others like to lick them.
6. Lipstick/ fingernails: Red lipstick – all men can think about is the ring that will be left during oral sex. This is one of the things that make a woman look like a woman.
7. Hair: This isn’t as weird. We all like to see a woman who keeps her hair clean and smelling great! Some guys like a woman who has a pony tail or has braids in her hair.
8. Water: Every man dreams of that woman who sticks her head up from the pool and is so very good looking. We like water because people tend to wear little or nothing in water. Nothing looks better on a woman than a wet t-shirt or a wet bathing suit that fits snuggly on her breasts.
9. Golden showers: This is where you urinate on your partner, or they urinate on you and it’s a great turn on. Sometimes it has to do with domination. There is no signal stronger than pissing on someone.
10. Voyeurism: This is the most popular fetish. People love to watch and be watched having sex. This is one of the reasons why porn is so popular. We love to watch someone have sex.
‘Men think, while women desire.’ Gone are the days when ‘demanding sex’ was considered exclusively a man’s forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it. “I read these funny E-mail forwards that stress on men begging for sex and women denying it. It sounds so funny to me. It’s totally the opposite in my case. While men can have a good laugh over it believing that this notion exists, I literally have to seduce my husband to get him hooked on to the act,” quips production assistant Megha Mehra. And she is not alone. Many girls/women had a similar story.
We spoke to women from different backgrounds to figure out what is making them addicted to sex.
It’s physically pleasurable
Amongst all the other reasons to remain glued to sex, this is the most prominent one. Good sex satisfies your physical urge, which is very normal for anyone to experience. Psychologist Seema Naina opines, “Sex is the most basic need of any person. And I am increasingly getting cases where women are complaining that men are unable to satisfy their physical needs.”
Creates positive feelings about oneself
Ideally, great sex means you are enjoying the sexual act and participating equally. It makes you feel good about yourself, thus adding to your self esteem. Shares housewife Neelam Nehra, “When my husband comes back from a whole day at work and we have our sack session, it increases my self esteem. The very feeling that I am able to satisfy him is a great pleasure. And since I never want to go out of shape to look unappealing to my husband (and other men), it even acts as a motivation to work out and feel desirable.” Wondering why?
“Sex has healing powers. It generates positive emotions and makes one feel more confident. When a woman sees her man passionate in the act, admiring her body and moves, it infuses a lot of good feelings within her,” opines psychologist Sunaina Bajaj.
Brings them closer to their man
Physical intimacy releases hormone Oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. Agreesrelationship expert Vandana Mitra, “I have always maintained that couples should never take sex casually. It’s a very important ingredient for any relationship to sustain. It helps couples to nurture the relationship and strengthen the bond.” So whoever said having more sex with your partner means lesser cases of infidelity, made sense.
Content developer Prachi Sinha states, “I feel a major connect with my boyfriend after we make love. I just feel like being close to him. My faith in him and our relationship grows stronger.” Prachi’s boyfriend agrees, “When she told me about the 7 days a week sex, I initially could not stop laughing. I mean, this is not the only thing we have to do. But honestly it has got us closer. I just can’t take my eyes off her even when we are moving in a crowd.”
Negates unwanted emotions/ Stress-reliever
Sex is not just a physical sensation but it’s comforting and relaxing. Call centre executive Neetu Sharma shares her experience, “Whenever I have a bad day at work, sex really helps me unwind. It totally takes the stress out of my mind and makes me feel relaxed and rejuvenated.” Psychologist Reena Kapur explains why. “Sex involves a lot of deep breathing and touching and the hormones that are released during the act calm you down.”
Great form of exercise
Thirty minutes of sex burns more than 85 calories. We have read it almost everywhere that sex helps in burning calories. Confirms fitness consultant Stuti Batra, “While I do not suggest giving up work outs, doubling up the session makes you drop more weight.” While this is the most deadly mix, many girls are seriously taking to it. “It may sound a little funny, but while making love I prefer to play the dominant role. It helps me burn greater calories, leaving my guy in ecstasy,” says Payal Verma.
“Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I find myself always thinking about my boyfriend, and what we did the night before. It gives me a kick and makes me crave for our next sack session. He thinks I am crazy, but it really happens to me,” shares call centre executive Richa Sharma.
“It is completely normal to fantasise about sex. But I have heard it can freak a guy out- we men are still adapting to the concept of women demanding sex more than us. But we love that passion,” admits psychologist Prateek.
For your frame of reference, this fad defines a mutually beneficial relationship between two friends who indulge in casual sex with no bonds or expectations involved. In an age when all that people think of is adding digits to their bank balance, this trend has become quite a rage. Commitment might have taken a backseat but the desire for pleasure never will.
On being asked reasons as to why this trend has come into being, relationship therapist, Rachna Kothari says “Some reasons would be, the mere known fact that two friends are physically attracted to each other and can benefit each other (most often sexually), the want of pleasure or feeling of loneliness in a person or exes wanting to be in a physical relationship with no label attached. For those who believe they live in a culture that pursues individualism as the highest goal, it makes this relationship more pragmatic. Because there is no commitment or responsibility, one is free from feelings of hurt, pain, etc. and this can be a very honest and practical way of going about in relationships.”
It is for sure, considering how comfortable one is with the idea, ‘Friends with Benefits’ is not a bad way to go about relationships. But then again, it is not all that easy. Here are certain dos and don’ts while being a FWBs.
Most times, in such a relationship, it is difficult to maintain proximity after you’re done with your physical needs. Don’t hook up with someone you are extremely close to or someone you can’t do without on a regular basis. People generally say that women tend to fall in love with their partnersafter getting physical. But studies break that myth. It is normal that the moment you have had sexual intercourse, the body naturally emits hormones which generate feelings of love and affection. Sometimes, one of the partners agrees to being ‘friends with benefits’ just because they have feelings for the other and think that having casual sex would actually initiate sparks for the onset of a relationship. This can lead to heartbreak or a break in friendship or, in a worse scenario, both.
If, god willing, you fall in love at some point, this past phase can provoke doubt in your current relationship. FWBs can be a human interference when you’re in a real relationship. Your current love can actually be insecure (and we see no fault in that) because of this so-called past-bed-buddy. If the FWB is an acquaintance, it’s easy to break ties once you both have satisfied your physical needs.
Remember, it’s about having an unspoken agreement between you and your friend to have occasional sex, leaving out the emotional baggage. You both should acknowledge this. Make sure the signal ‘We’re not lovers’ is clear. Don’t nestle or cuddle everytime you get an opportunity. Even sympathy sex is a no-no. This paves way to wanting more than just sex.
Rachna Kothari says, “Mutually, if two friends agree that there’s no expectations, no commitments, then it’s not detrimental because their attitudes are set right for this. But for those who believe that lovemaking and not mechanical sex is what’s important, it is obviously detrimental as it violates every bit of their expectations.”
Make sure the intimacy of this relationship is just between the two of you, without making it a public deal. Don’t brag about what a love muffin you are. The friendship could be gone with the wind.
Comfort is the key word while being FWBs. You need not be worried about concealing that birthmark which you’ve always disliked, or those flabs you couldn’t lose in the gym or whether you will perform well in bed. Just enjoy the moments without fretting much.
Most importantly, play safe. Don’t just hook up without taking precautions. A bubbly night or a stressful day should be no excuse to not use protection before sex. Make sure you don’t end up panic struck because of this risky relationship.
Maintaining friends with sexual benefits can be quite a hassle unless you stick by the ground rules. There is no harm being offbeat in relationships, but not acting in accordance to the rules would just lead to your life going haywire.